Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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