He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
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He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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