I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
