How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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