this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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