he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
