So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
