why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
