I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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