swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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