we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
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Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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