my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
