I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm at about main and main street
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
