Me too!
I think my fart just growled at me.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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