ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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