My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
