I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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