Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Holy shit dude........stairs
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
