i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
