we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
