Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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