I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
