if only i could text you this smell
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize