Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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