that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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