Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
