Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
