Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
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As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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