Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
