I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
