idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
