I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
