Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
is wine microwaveable?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
