I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
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Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
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you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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