I just made out with a guy for $7.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
