can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
