There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
