This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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