Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
