I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
