I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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