So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
