i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
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he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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