You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
ok first of all what the fuck
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
