i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
