I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
