Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
