you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
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I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
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Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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