Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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