sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
