i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
