Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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