im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
