As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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