My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize