Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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