you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
