also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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