new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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