I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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