His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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