i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
