just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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