Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
