did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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